神是拯救，神是医治 God is salvation, God is healing

感谢神！今天可以在这里分享我的见证！我是一个老基督徒，圣经知识不少，听过的见证不少，有医治的，释放的，等等。自己呢？很少经历，其实是不信，信神医治别人，心底深处不太相信神能医治我。

Thank God! Today I can share my testimony here! I am an old Christian, with quite a bit of knowledge of the Bible and many testimonies I have heard, including those of healing, deliverance, and so on. As for myself, I rarely experience it. Actually, it is a lack of faith—I believe God heals others, but deep down, I don't really believe He can heal me.

先来讲讲前2周发生的事吧。 12月1号联合聚会结束后，我带着付传道和Anna 去练车，付传道来新西兰之前拿到了中国驾照，一直没有开过车。

Let me start by talking about what happened two weeks ago. After the combine service on December 1st, I took Pastor Fu and Anna to practice driving. Pastor Fu had gotten a Chinese driver’s license before coming to New Zealand but had never driven.

我找了一个没什么车的工业区，就陪着付传道练习。从开直线，到左转，我们在同一条路线上足足开了1个半小时，我试着用了各种方法去教，最后效果一般，左转还是没转好。

I found an industrial area with few cars and accompanied Pastor Fu to practice. From driving in a straight line to turning left, we drove on the same road for an hour and a half.  I tried various methods to teach, but the results were still average; the left turn wasn’t done well.

到最后我就直接说，付传道，今天就到这里结束吧？记忆中我当时也没有生气之类的，只是有点累。

In the end, I just said, "Pastor Fu, let’s stop here for today." I don’t remember being angry at that moment, just a bit tired.

接下来的周一周二很热，我的花粉症开始了，鼻塞，流鼻涕，头痛，还有咳嗽（以前没有）。周二晚上咳嗽很厉害，周三早上起来喉咙痛，感觉像是COVID. 下班后测试了一下，还好没阳。周四去查经小组的时候眼睛是肿的，一直咳嗽，鼻塞流鼻涕。一包纸在我手上不能放下，大家都有看到我是什么样的状态。而且那天我有一颗牙碰到常温的水就疼得厉害。肢体们也提醒我要求主光照罪。

The next Monday and Tuesday were very hot, and my hay fever started. I had a stuffy nose, a runny nose, a headache, and even a cough (which I hadn’t had before). On Tuesday night, my cough was severe. By Wednesday morning, my throat hurt, and it felt like COVID. After work, I tested, and thankfully, it was negative. On Thursday, when I went to the Bible study , my eyes were swollen, and I kept coughing, with a stuffy nose and a runny nose. I couldn’t put down a pack of tissues, and everyone saw my condition. That day, I had a tooth that hurt severely just from touching room-temperature water. The brothers and sisters also reminded me to ask the Lord to shine light on my sins.

晚上回到家，真的受不了了，频繁的咳嗽使我根本睡不了觉。鼻子也一直流鼻水。半夜我爬起来祷告，那是我唯一的救命稻草了。我求主来光照我，医治我，赦免我的罪，我也愿意饶恕人，我知道有些人我不饶恕。我一边祷告一边哭啊，求啊！后来睡过去，居然第二天晚起来40分钟，闹钟一直叫都叫不醒我。

When I got home at night, I couldn’t stand it anymore. The constant coughing kept me from sleeping, and my nose kept running. In the middle of the night, I got up to pray; that was my only lifeline. I asked the Lord to shine light on me, heal me, forgive my sins, and I was willing to forgive others, knowing there were some people I hadn’t forgiven. I prayed and cried, asking desperately! Later, I fell asleep and surprisingly woke up 40 minutes late the next day, unable to wake up no matter how much the alarm rang.

那天上班后，我才发现我有太多的论断、看不惯和不饶恕。看到别人装货慢，看到一个叉车司机裤子穿得太低，我就要开始批评、论断、看不惯。神让我看到自己实在是有罪了，于是我开始争战，拒绝并抵挡这些声音，不容它们来辖制我。身体状况好了一些，但仍然需要吃药。

After going to work that day, I realized I had too many judgments, things I didn’t like, and unforgiveness. When I saw others loading cargo slowly or a forklift driver wearing pants too low, I would start criticizing, judging, and feeling uncomfortable. God made me see that I was truly guilty, so I began to fight back, rejecting and resisting those voices, not allowing them to control me. My physical condition improved a bit, but I still needed to take medicine.

12月7号，周六，我很早起来加班，送了两车货，上午8:30就下班了。回来路上很高兴：今天的工作，干得时间少，赚得还挺多，心里很得意。回到公司，自动门打开后，我开进去停在门口，和对面来的司机聊了半分钟。电动门的感应器没感应到车厢中间的空隙，就关了，所以卡在两个车厢中间。

On December 7th, Saturday, I woke up early to work overtime, delivered two loads of goods, and finished work by 8:30 AM. On the way back, I was very happy: I worked for less time today, earned a lot, and felt quite proud of myself. When I returned to the yard, the automatic door opened, I drove in and parked at the entrance, chatting with the driver coming from the opposite direction for half a minute. The sensor of the electric door did not detect the gap in the middle of the truck, so it closed and got stuck between the two trailers.

等我启动车的时候，把门弄坏了。当时就找人修，$615没了！！发短息给付传道，说神管教我了，因为我太骄傲了。经上说：【申8:17-18】17恐怕你心里说：‘这货财是我力量、我能力得来的。’18你要记念耶和华你的神，因为得货财的力量是他给你的……正在我觉得自己挺厉害，归荣耀给自己时，神让我看到祂才是神，赏赐的是祂，收取的也是祂。转眼之间，钱财就长翅膀如鹰向天飞去了。赚来的钱全赔掉了。

When I started the vehicle, I damaged the door. I immediately found someone to repair it, and $615 was gone! I sent a text message to Pastor Fu, saying that God was disciplining me because I was too proud. The Bible says: [Deuteronomy 8:17-18] 17 "Beware lest you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.' 18 And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth..." Just as I felt quite impressive and gave glory to myself, God made me realize that He is the true God, the one who gives rewards and the one who takes them away. In the blink of an eye, the wealth flew away like an eagle with wings to the sky. All the money I earned was lost.

付传道的回复是“借着身体的不舒服，钱财的损失，一定有神的心意，得重视，不是单单认一下罪，求主光照内心深处的意念，相信神的意思是好的，为了拯救”。 周六晚上祷告会时，付传道提醒我，有没有对她有论断？我才想起来是有的，但我还没有重视。

Pastor Fu replied, "Through the physical discomfort and the loss of wealth, there must be God's intention, and it should be taken seriously, not just to confess sins, but to ask the Lord to illuminate the deep thoughts of the heart. Believe that God's purpose is good, for salvation." At Saturday evening's prayer meeting, Pastor Fu reminded me to reflect if I had judged her in any way. I then remembered that I had, but I hadn't taken it seriously.

周日聚会后听Kayla分享她被管教的经历时，我才重视起来。神再次光照我。原来那天练车时，在我心底的最深处，有一个很小的声音在嘲笑付传道，“你不是刚拿到中国驾照吗？怎么左转练这么多次都不会？”

After Sunday’s meeting, when I heard Kayla share her experience of discipline, I began to take it seriously. God once again illuminated me. It turned out that on that day during driving practice, there was a tiny voice deep in my heart mocking Pastor Fu, "Didn't you just get your Chinese driver's license? Why can't you make a left turn after practicing so many times?"

我知道论断是罪，但是我没有想到这一个个小意念，小论断，却给生命留下破口，以至于自己大大被攻击，受损失。罪的后果原来这样可怕。神实在是公义的。我再次真心地向神悔改自己的罪。聚会后我把这些和付传道分享，也承认自己的错，请她饶恕我。

I knew that judgment was a sin, but I didn't realize that these small thoughts and judgments left openings in my life, allowing for great attacks and losses. The consequences of sin are truly terrifying. God is truly just.

结果奇妙的事发生了，当天晚上基本没有咳嗽了，鼻子也通了，头也不痛了，睡得也非常好！神的话是真实的，【诗103:3】他赦免你的一切罪孽，医治你的一切疾病。这周一早上我有个很强烈的感动，就是我信神已经医治我了，我可以把花粉药给停了。我跟神祷告说：神啊，我的信心小，我不吃药，但可以让我把药带上吧？结果一直没吃药，鼻子一直是通的。周一晚上发现即使我喝冰水，牙也一点都不疼了。

Then something miraculous happened: that evening, I hardly coughed, my nose was clear, my head no longer hurt, and I slept very well! God’s word is true: [Psalm 103:3] "Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases." On Monday morning, I had a strong feeling that God had healed me, and I could stop taking the pollen medicine. I prayed to God, saying, "Lord, my faith is small, I won't take the medicine, but can I just bring it with me?" In the end, I didn't take the medicine, and my nose remained clear. On Monday evening, I realized that even when I drank cold water, my teeth no longer hurt at all.

我被医治了！哈利路亚！感谢神！我经历了神的管教，神的纠正，也经历了神的赦免，神的医治。当被管教时是难受的。感谢主，祂的目的是要拯救我们，让我们在祂的圣洁上有份，让我们脱离家族的咒诅，进入祝福里。

I was healed! Hallelujah! Thank God! I experienced God’s discipline, God’s correction, and I also experienced God’s forgiveness and healing. It is painful when being disciplined. Thank the Lord, His purpose is to save us, to make us partake in His holiness, to deliver us from the family curse, and to bring us into blessings.

明年我们的教会要进入一个新的季节，复兴要来临，我们也必须预备自己，更多悔改，恨恶罪，离弃罪，成为圣洁，合乎主用。感谢主的恩典，塑造我们成为祂要的样子，好让我们，我们的家人，我们的孩子，孩子的孩子进入神的祝福！

Next year, our church will enter a new season, revival is coming, and we must prepare ourselves, repent more, hate sin, forsake sin, and become holy, fit for the Lord’s use. Thank God for His grace, shaping us into the image He wants, so that we, our families, our children, and our children’s children can enter into God’s blessings!