又真又活的神，医治我心灵的创伤

弟兄姊妹们平安，我叫Harvey，来自台湾，家族都是虔诚的佛教及道教信徒，我今年刚来基督城时从未想过改信基督教。

Brothers and sisters, peace be with you. My name is Harvey, and I come from Taiwan. My family are devout followers of Buddhism and Taoism. When I first arrived in Christchurch this year, I never thought about converting to becoming a Christian.

最初，我只是从参加免费英文课后怀着好奇心来了解神。在第一次来到中文查经小组听完Jane讲道后，就跟着做了接受耶稣的祷告。Initially, I was just curious about God after attending the free English class. But after attending the Mandarin Bible study group on Thursday and listening to Pastor Jane's sermon for the first time, I prayed with her to accept Jesus as my personal Saviour.那天晚上，属灵战争开始了，很多意念进来，让我感觉祖宗信的神也很好，我被扰乱睡不着，那晚，我还是不能割舍之前信的宗教。That night, a spiritual battle began. Many thoughts came to me, making me feel that the gods my ancestors believed in were also good. I was disturbed and couldn't sleep. That night, I still couldn't let go of the religion I had previously believed in.并觉得就算我一直来这家教堂听道，要我这个异教徒开窍并甘愿受洗，可能要花上好几年时间。I felt that even if I continued to attend this church and listened to sermons, it might take me several years as a non-believer to be willing to be baptised.

直到最近发生了一连串神给我的经历，让我好感动，我没想到可以得到神的眷顾并抚平了小时候的创伤。Until recently, when I had a series of experiences, which deeply moved me. I had never expected to receive God's grace and find healing from my childhood trauma.我和我的弟妹们，小时候曾经遭受到父亲的虐待，生活在谎言、羞耻和恐惧中，家庭破碎。My siblings and I had experienced abuse from our father when we were young, living in lies, shame, and fear, with a broken family.随着年纪增长，以为这些事情可以压抑得非常好，当作没发生一样，我也以为自己已经原谅父母和那些伤害我的人。As we grew older, we thought we could suppress these things very well, pretending they had never happened. I also thought I had forgiven my parents and those who had hurt me.

直到最近我在网络上看了一系列的新闻，有个名人跟我一样的经历，我一夕之间想起所有恐怖的片段，Until recently, when I  saw a series of news reports online about a celebrity who had had similar experiences to mine. During one night, I recalled all the terrifying moments.我终于可以彻头彻尾地承认自己的感受，但是我的胸口快窒息了，那时我第一次真心地跟主耶稣祷告求他救我请让这些都停止！Finally, I could completely acknowledge my feelings, but I felt my chest becoming tighter and tighter and I couldn’t even breathe, so I asked Jesus to help me. So that night, I prayed sincerely to the Lord Jesus for the first time, asking Him to save me.

突然一个耶稣流泪的玻璃窗格画像映在我眼前，接着我不知怎么的想到祂在十字架上钉得痛不欲生的画面。Suddenly, an image of Jesus weeping, tears on stained glass, appeared before me, and then my mind was filled with the scene where Jesus was suffering on the cross for me.这瞬间我感受到被完全理解，所有的愤恨和恐惧全消失了，随之而来的是感动，于是我开始祈祷，我愿意放下所有偶像崇拜、跟随祂、完全属于祂、爱祂…In that moment, I felt completely understood by Him, and all the anger and fear disappeared. What followed was a sense of peace, and I began to pray, declaring that I was willing to let go of all idolatry and to follow Jesus, and I belonged to Him completely and loved Him.于是很明显地，每讲一句，就有一股电流帮我把胸口那个很重的东西吸走，祷告到最后，我的胸闷是完全消失的，回到最轻松的状态。Clearly, with each sentence I prayed, I could feel He helped me remove the heavy burden from my chest. By the end of the prayer, the tightness in my chest had completely disappeared, and I felt the lightest I had ever felt.

于是我觉得这个太神奇了，以前我自己心情经过调整去处理心理创伤，但仍然还是会残留一点小忧郁，I found this experience miraculous. Previously, I had adjusted my mood in my own way to deal with the psychological trauma, but there would still be some lingering depression.这次经历了祷告后心情完全变好，不是自己心理调节可以办到的。This time, after praying, my mood completely improved, something I had never achieved through my own psychological adjustments.

隔天我来上英文课，下课后，Jane牧师再一次花时间给我讲述真理，让我认识到我家族的咒诅和我自己有原罪，现在也有罪的，我也不是完全人，所以我愿意饶恕伤害我的父亲和母亲。The next day, after attending the Free English class, Pastor Jane took the time to explain the truth further to me again, making me realise the curse of sin on my family and my own original sin. Even now, I have the sinful nature within me, and I am not a perfect person. So, I was willing to forgive my parents who had hurt me.感谢Jane带着我祷告去饶恕他们和以后每天弟兄姊妹们帮我代祷。这些天我每天都睡得很好，再也没有惊醒或负面的情绪进来，就算想到过去的惨事，却有饶恕的心情并同时感到被爱，而没有愤恨不平，这真的不是人可以办得到的。I thank Jane for praying with me to forgive them, and I thank brothers and sisters from the 2pm service for praying for me every day. These days, I have been sleeping very well every day, without waking up or negative emotions creeping in. Even when I think of past tragedies, I feel forgiveness and love, without any resentment or injustice. This is really something that cannot be achieved by human effort.

当Kayla和Alan在Alan生日那天款待我，Kayla问起我要不要受洗，我觉得神已经把答案放在我心里，When Kayla and Alan hosted just me on Alan's birthday at their house, Kayla asked me if I wanted to be baptised. I felt that God had already put the answer in my heart.这是耶稣对我的呼召，让我背起自己的十字架来跟随他，继续认识祂和持守在祂饶恕的大爱里。This was Jesus' call to me, asking me to take up my own cross and follow Him, to continue to know Him and abide in His forgiving love.

所以很荣幸蒙耶稣的眷顾，我最后居然是喜悦得自己跑来要跟大家一起受洗，这是我一开始万万没想到的！So, I am honoured to have received God's grace, and I am now joyfully receiving baptism with others. This is something I had never expected at the beginning.感谢主，也感谢OTBC的Jane牧师和弟兄姊妹们，作为神的使者们来引领我！Praise the Lord, and thanks to Pastor Jane, Alan, Kayla and the brothers and sisters of OTBC for being God's messengers to guide me!