神医治好伤心的人，成为为主摆上的人

神医治好伤心的人，成为为主摆上的人

God healed the brokenhearted; “She” now willing to give her life fully for the Lord

弟兄姊妹们平安！Peace to you, brothers and sisters!

今天我想分享的是神怎么样医治我伤心的灵魂，What I want to share today is how God healed me as a brokenhearted person,从一个被鬼附，不得平安，与丈夫吵架的怨妇，from a resentful woman who was possessed by demons, had no peace, and quarreled with my husband,到走上了充满平安喜乐，肯为主奉献摆上自己的过程。to a process of being filled with peace and joy, and being willing to fully devote myself to the Lord.

自从我在2022年8月受洗之后， Since I was baptised in August 2022, Jane姐一直扶持我认识真理，Jane has been helping me understand the truth,改变思维模式，change my way of thinking,带我祷告并赶出魔鬼在我生命里的作为。lead me to pray and cast out the demons out of my life. 但是每个星期我还是被罪的思想和撒旦折磨得苦毒，But every week I was still tormented by sinful thoughts and Satan,抱怨别人，生各种各样的疾病，complaining about others, getting various diseases,还跟Alan打架，朝他扔刀子，杯子，fighting with Alan, throwing knives and glasses at him,砸坏家里锅碗瓢盆，大大小小镜子和家具，and breaking all the pots and pans, mirrors and furniture at home,甚至离家出走躲到妇女难民营里去要跟Alan闹离婚。and even ran away from home and hid myself in the Women’s Refugee to contemplate to divorce Alan.

这样的日子不但给我的丈夫带来很多麻烦和压力，Such numerous days not only brought a lot of trouble and pressure to my husband,没法睡觉，没有安稳日子，也不能好好工作; who could not sleep, have a stable life, and could not work well, 还给牧者带来很多无法安眠的日日夜夜，but also brought many sleepless days and nights to Pastor Jane,为我代求代祷，甚至夜里到我家为我祷告。who prayed for me and even came to our home at night and prayed for me.

我也恨恶自己这样的本性和行为，没有平安，也没有给其他人带来祝福, I also hate my sinful nature and bad behavior. I had no peace and didn’t bring any blessings to others,但是自己控制不了自己. but I couldn’t control myself doing this.

这样的日子过了一年多，起起伏伏, It had been like this for more than a year with ups and downs.在去年Jane姐过安息假期之前，她为我祷告, Before Jane went on her sabbatical vacation last year, she prayed for me.在她临行前，还跟我打电话要我好好读经祷告，Before she left, she called me and asked me to read the Bible and pray,信靠神，改变自己，为主所用。trust God, change myself, and be used by the Lord.

可是，她走了不到三天，我就忘了，罪的本性很难改变，However, less than three days after she left, I forgot that my sinful nature was so hard to change,又打开心门让撒旦偷窃杀害毁坏，家里不得安宁。and I opened my heart to Satan to steal, kill, and destroy, and there was no peace in our family. 12月中旬，自己自暴自弃了，In mid-December, I gave up on myself.这时候因着跟Alan吵架，晚上得了重感冒，At this time, due to a quarrel with Alan, I caught a bad flu at night.难受得又开始抱怨Alan的不好。I felt so uncomfortable that I started complaining about Alan again.

但是突然一个念头闪过But suddenly a thought flashed through me,  “神要是真的还爱我，肯给我一个机会跟随他，"If God really still loves me and is willing to give me a chance to follow Him,那我断胳膊断腿也愿意跟上，then I will be willing to follow Him even if I have to cut off my arms and legs.一个感冒算得了什么？”  So does a flu really matter?"结果一秒钟后，我的感冒症状—打喷嚏，流鼻涕，头疼，发烧，全都消失了。As a result, a second later, all my flu symptoms - sneezing, runny nose, headache, fever - all disappeared. 我立刻在心里祷告: I immediately prayed in my heart, “原来神没有放弃我，是我自己放弃自己。“It turns out that God has not given up on me at all, but I have given up on myself.求主赦免我的不信，Lord, please forgive me for my unbelief.我愿意转向他，跟随主耶稣的脚踪。”I am willing to turn to You and follow the footsteps of Jesus."

要参加Alan家族圣诞聚会时候，我以前有很严重的社交恐惧症，When attending the Christmas party of Alan's extended family, I used to have severe social phobia.超过三个人，我就躲起来或者提前离场。If there were more than three people, I would hide in a room or leave early. 但这次靠着主，时时祷告，But this time, by relying on the Lord and praying all the time in my heart,在30多个成年人里，in a gathering of more than 30 adults,不但给一个亲戚传福音，还第一次感受到从头到尾的喜乐。I not only spoke the gospel to a relative, but for the first time, I felt joy from the beginning to the end. 不管别人说什么，做了什么，神的平安一直充满我的心，No matter what others said or did, God’s Peace filled my heart. 我没有抱怨Alan不陪着我，也没有惧怕自己英语不好，I did not complain about Alan for not accompanying me, nor was I afraid that my English was not good.心里流淌着赞美神的话，按圣灵提示怎么说话。My heart was flowing with the word of praising the Lord and I spoke to people by the touch of Holy Spirit. 神让我尝到了依靠他这么一点点，他就能做我随时的帮助，God has given me a taste of relying on Him just a little bit, and He can be my help at any time. 在耶和华的怀抱中，必不遭难。In the embrace of the Lord, I will never suffer. 这是第一次胜过了害怕被人拒绝伤害. For the first time, the fear of being rejected and hurt was overcome.

Jane姐回来后，她说“我发现你现在已经到了没有属灵领导依赖,都可以靠主自己长进的时候了，并且你这次的长进非常的大。” After Jane came back, she said, "I found that you have now reached the point where you can rely on the Lord to grow without relying on spiritual leaders, and your growth this time is very great."然后她开始更多给我幕后祷告，不再像以前那样频繁地带领我祷告了。Then she began to pray for me more behind the scenes, no longer leads me in prayers as often as before. 我只能在圣灵的感动下，祷告每天听什么道，Then I can only pray by the touch of the Holy Spirit, listen to Jane’s sermons every day,读经和做饶恕祷告，对付自己身上的罪，read the Bible and pray to forgive others and deal with my own sins. 饶恕伤害过我的老师，同学，父母，姐姐，之前做生意招的几个员工。I forgave my teachers, classmates, parents, sister, and those previous employees who have hurt me in my previous business.

直到发现在环境里无论别人再说我什么，Until I discovered that no matter what others commented about me,我心里没有喜欢不喜欢，I had no voice in my heart --whether I liked it or not,或者对方是对是错的声音了。or whether the other person was right or wrong.也开始明白不管别人说什么，I also began to understand that no matter what others said,动机都是他们自己，it all coming from their own motives,我只需要在心里为他们祷告。and I only need to pray for them in my heart.

一次在超市门口遇见了之前起诉我，冤枉我的员工，Once I met a previous employee who had sued me to the authority and wronged me, at the entrance of a supermarket.我竟然主动笑着跟他打招呼，没有一丝怨恨和不饶恕，I went up directly to greet him with a smile, without a trace of resentment or unforgiveness.而且心里立刻祷告，让神祝福他。I immediately prayed in my heart and asked God to bless him greatly and enormously. 以前我也很自私，只想得到自己想要的结果，I used to be very selfish and only wanted to get what I desire,却不知道他因为我清算公司，but I didn’t know that because I liquidated the business,断了经济来源连超市买东西都困难。he lost his financial source and found it difficult to even buy groceries from the supermarket that week!  

原来，马太福音 5:44 只是我告诉你们：要爱你们的仇敌，为那逼迫你们的祷告。是这么真实可信！感谢神的信实！Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It’s so real and Thank God for His faithfulness!

随着更加频繁地操练祷告，神带领我经历属灵征战的真实，As I practiced praying more frequently, God has led me to experience the reality of spiritual warfare,这更需要清心和自洁。which requires a pure heart and to cleanse myself by denying my own desires of the flesh. 因为经常忘记吃饭，喝水，跪着祷告几个小时，Because I often forget to eat or drink, and kneel to pray for hours,不会再像以前那样迷恋各种爱好，I am no longer as obsessed with various hobbies as before,种花种菜，画画学书法，such as planting flowers and vegetables, painting and doing calligraphy, 或者刷手机网购东西或者浏览社交网站，对这些都没有兴趣了。or shopping online or browsing social media by mobile phone. I have no interest in any of these anymore. 我也在神面前悔改，I also repented in front of the Lord.自己以前只知道享受舒服的小日子，In the past, I used to live in my comfort zone,但是却没有想过主耶稣为了救我，为我放弃了他的生命！but never thought that the Lord Jesus gave up His own life in order to save me! 我开始学会凡事感恩，I began to learn to be grateful in everything, 真知道自己的所有，不是因为我哪里好或者我赚来的，争取来的，and I truly knew that what I am having was not because of my merits or because of what I earned or fought for, 而是神赐给我的丰盛的恩典。but because of God’s abundant grace given to me.

我以前用尽心机利用人想在基督城买个房，也没有买成。I used to try my best to take advantage of another person to buy a property in Christchurch, but it came out to nothing. 神知道我深深地渴望在新西兰有个温暖的家，God knew my deep longing for a warm and lovely home in New Zealand,在我来到Jane姐的教会后，神就把这样好的基督徒丈夫和宽敞舒适的房子赐给我。so He gave me such a great Christian husband and a spacious and comfortable house after I came to Jane’s ministry. 我对过去的无知和愚蠢，I have completely confessed and repented of my past ignorance and stupidity, 总是伤害我丈夫，打碎家里东西的行为，彻底认罪悔改了。which led to hurting my husband and smashing things at home.

有一次，在路上看见了一辆救护车擦肩而过。Once, I saw an ambulance passing by our car. 神把我带回到2020年，我自杀了7,8次，吞安眠药3次，没有跟人说过，God took me back to the year of 2020 when I committed suicide 7 or 8 times and took sleeping pills 3 times without telling anyone.结果警察自己上门来，跳窗户进来摸我还有脉搏，把我抬上救护车。However, the police came to the door by themselves, jumped into my room from the window, felt my pulse and found I was still alive, so they carried me into an ambulance.

这事后来问警察说是有人打电话，When I asked them about this later, they said someone called the police. 但是因为我下定决心去死的，不告诉任何人，怎么会有人打电话给警察？However, I was determined to die quietly and didn’t tell anyone, how could someone call the police? 这真是神奇妙的拯救！除了神还能有谁呢？This is truly a miracle from God! Who else but God?

我在回忆的画面里，痛声大哭起来，我听见神说In my memories, I cried loudly and heard God saying, “是我一次次拯救了你的命啊！” "I have saved your life again and again!!" 于是我回应神说“我要如何报答你的恩情呢？I responded to God "How can I repay your salvation? 主啊，我本是将死的人，不配得什么恩典，你却让我活下来。Lord, I was a dying person and don’t deserve any grace from you, but you give me a chance to live. 我不要自私自利，专顾自己一亩三分地地活着，我这条命是你的了。”I don’t want to be selfish and focus on living my own life. My life is yours!!”

在一次次的周日敬拜布道时，牧者做呼召祷告，During Sunday worships, Pastor Jane called us, who was willing to pray in the front, 我就一次次地走到前面去，跟神表明心意，and I walked up there again and again and again to express my desire and determination to the Lord, 我愿意死了自己，这条命不是我的了，cry out to the Lord that I was willing to die myself, this life was no longer mine, 我要回报主爱，求圣灵燃烧我，使用我，医治我，and I wanted to repay the Lord’s love, and asked the Holy Spirit to burn me, use me, heal me, 为他人代求代祷，为复兴昼夜代祷。so I can intercede and pray for others, and pray for the church revival day and night.

神听了这样的呼求，他彻底医治好了我的自杀念头和社交恐惧症。God listened to this cry, and He completely healed me of my suicidal thoughts and social phobia. Jane从神那里领受说我可以服事免费英语课了！Jane received from God that I could serve in free English classes! 为此，我哭着感谢神！For this, I praised the Lord in tears! 去年跟精神病一样，去服事他人是不可能的！It was impossible for me to serve people last year because of my mental health. 现在靠着主，有耶稣基督的平安在我心里掌权，不管多少人来，Now by relying on the Lord, I have Jesus’s peace ruling in my heart so that no matter how many people came to the English classes, 我脸上都有喜乐的笑容去招呼人。I always greet people with a joyful smile on my face.

Jane 姐把很多英文课的幕后工作交给我，Jane gave me a lot of administration work to do for the English classes. 圣灵带我和Alan去探访Jose 一家，The Holy Spirit took me and Alan to visit Jose’s family. 我就照着圣灵的引导去和主同工，I followed the guidance of the Holy Spirit to work with the Lord. 我看见了神借着我这个过去伤心的人，只顾自己的人I saw that God used me, a brokenhearted person who only cared about herself in the past, 可以去祝福来英文课的很多人，把他们带进神的家。now can bless the people who come to English classes and bring them into the family of God. 再一次感谢主！Thank you, Lord again!

以赛亚书 61:3 赐华冠与锡安悲哀的人，代替灰尘，喜乐油代替悲哀，赞美衣代替忧伤之灵。Isaiah 61:3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

当Jane姐上周日带我祷告时候，感谢主耶稣当年如何从抹大拉的玛利亚身上赶出7个鬼，使她能服事主，When Jane led me to pray last Sunday, she told me to thank the Lord Jesus for how He cast out 7 demons from Mary Magdalene so that she could serve the Lord. 他如此这样地赶出了我身上的鬼，He also cast out the demons from me in this way. 他拉着我的手，教会我如何去为神国摆上自己。He holds my hand and teaches me how to serve the Kingdom of God.

不敢想象，现在的我不但跟Alan夫妻关系和睦，I can’t imagine that now, not only do I have a harmonious relationship with Alan, 每天我们不论在哪里，见面谈论的话题都是如何祷告或者一起祷告，but also no matter where we meet every day, the topics we talk about are always how to pray or we pray together.神在我们家中掌权。God is in control of our home. 不知不觉，我们的狗Basil本来生病，医生说只能做手术，Surprisingly, our dog Basil was sick, and the doctor said she could only be healed through a surgery, 却得了神的医治，痊愈了。but she is healed by God and fully recovered now.  Alan和我一起积极传福音给他的员工，Alan and I are working closely together to actively speak the gospel to his employee. 这名员工也决志要受洗了，This employee has also accepted Jesus as her personal saviour and is going to be baptised; 神还因此赐福给他的生意。God has blessed Alan’s business because of it. Jane姐也不像以前那样为了我的case焦头烂额，吃不好，睡不着，Jane is no longer as worried about my case as before, unable to eat or sleep. 她可以有时间去服事新来的弟兄姊妹们，为复兴继续献上自己。She can now have time to serve the newcomers to our church and continue to dedicate herself to the revival.

原来我们的神这么有大能，It turns out that our God is so powerful.把一个神经病，自杀的人，抱怨的人，苦毒的人，无药可救的人He turned a mentally ill, suicidal, complaining, bitter, and incurable person在短短一年半，变成了一个喜乐满怀的人，可以为神国出力，摆上自己成为祝福别人的人！into a joyful person who can serve others and can contribute to the Kingdom of God and put herself forward to be a blessing to others in just one and a half years！

耶稣基督被击打，身体如磐石裂开，使圣灵活水涌流下来，Jesus Christ was struck, and His body was split like a rock, allowing the Holy Spirit to flow down.今天也是基督如磐石永不改变的爱，激励了我去舍己爱人的。Today, it is also Christ’s rock-like unchanging, unfailing love that inspires me to sacrifice myself and love others.

凡愿意舍己跟随的，靠着圣灵的更新，信他的，就如经上说的，要从他肚腹里都要流出活水的江河来！

Anyone who is willing to deny himself to follow Jesus, relying on the renewal of the Holy Spirit and believing in Him, as the Scripture said, out of him, will flow rivers of living water!

见证人：Kayla